English composition (ENG 111) class was part of my course work at the Northern Virginia Community College and the course load involved writing numerous essay assignments. Most of the essay assignments had to be two pages in length keeping with the MLA format, the exception being the the final thesis which had to be seven to ten pages in length.

Like I had mentioned before, I plan to share some of the essays on the blog. I hope you liked my previous one, for here is one more. *find all ENG 111 essays posted

I found this essay assignment particularly difficult. It was a division/categorization essay, and both the topic and page limit turned my brain into mush. I am happy that I managed to submit something on time, but I have to say, despite my struggle I had fun writing it and I hope you find this piece entertaining.

The Seven Deadly Sins of Drivers

The seven deadly sins are the cardinal vices that Christianity has used to educate its followers by warning them of their immoral nature and eventual damnation that may occur because of them. It could be an interesting way to view drivers on the road by categorizing them using the sins as a behavioral model.

Sloth: Many drivers spend a lot of time in their vehicle and even sleep in them, but are too lazy to take care of them. Basic things like getting the oil changed or making sure there is enough air in the tires gets ignored until it is too late. When the car finally breaks down or they have a flat tire, they wonder how it could have happened. Some of their windshields are ridden with so much bird excrement; it’s a miracle that they even made it out of their driveway without hitting someone or something.

Greed: Drivers want the latest, fastest model with the highest horse power, the most luxurious interiors, and fully loaded with every possible electronic gadget. They don’t care if they can afford it or not, they still want it, and pour every penny to get it. They will go hungry or skip on the electricity bill or water or phone bill; they will stretch themselves as thin as they can financially to have the ride they desire.

Anger:  The sheer number of angry drivers on the road is astounding. If someone is driving faster than them they get angry, as they think it makes them look slow. If someone is driving slowly they get angry, for its slowing them down. They ride so close to the bumper of the car ahead of them, you may think they are going to crash. They shift lanes without indicating and get angry at those who honk at them. They get angry when others shift lanes and get in front of them, for it now spoils their view. It does not matter whether others are driving properly or not, for they are wrong no matter what.

Lust: To many male drivers their car is a symbol of their manhood. They believe that a ride that speaks in millions will definitely get the attention, respect and ample love, especially from the opposite sex. Many male drivers even see their cars as women, viewing every curve on it as a seductive and sensual object, desired to be touched; the roaring of the engine to an orgasm. Let us not forget the women drivers who derive pleasure riding big, fast cars, grabbing the gear stick with firmness and ferociousness as they try and tame the roaring, smoke spewing beast.

Gluttony: These are drivers who are constantly stuffing their faces with food. It does not matter if it is a red light or they are on the highway driving at 100mph. They have to keep their mouths working for they can’t help themselves, but eat.

Envy: Drivers are constantly checking out other cars on the road. The second they spot a car that they wished they were the ones driving, envious emotions begin to ooze out of every pore of their skins, melting their faces and trickling down to meet the pool of torrential drool pouring out of their mouths.

Pride: Some drivers are so full of it that they think they own the road, and everybody should allow them to pass whenever, wherever, and however. They are kings and queens, and it does not matter what kind of vehicle they are driving. Everyone is expected to cheer, clap, take pictures, and let them ride on, after all they are royalty.

A single driver may exhibit all these sins and only keeping such impulses in check or moderation may lessen the unhappiness that might hound these drivers and those driving around them